Sunday, December 23, 2007

petrified dinosaur shit

a customer came up to me at MY RECORD STORE JOB (where i labor in the hip-hop section) and asked me if i worked there

i made the mistake of making a joke

i said "either that or i have OCD"

she then proceeded to tell me about her friend who has OCD, ADD and a myriad of other ailments who gets SSI (lots of initials) who came to her house the other day to watch a half hour program on television

i asked if her friend cleaned the house for her

she said no and that her friend had given her bedbugs

i inched away a tiny bit

then she told me that she hadn't been to my place of work since it was a bowling alley, "that was a while ago," i remarked...then she told me her family history and that she had the honor of getting the clap from the main LSD kingpin of haight-ashbury era san francisco, seems she was reguarded as a weiro untill kids started tripping and then she was just the coolest

i asked her if she needed any help

she said no

....

the she looked at the bin card for tha pharcyde, apparently the word pharcyde in its misspelling looks a lot like the word scientists use for petrified dinosaur shit and apparently petrified dinosaur shit is infested with colorful minerals...

so i ask "ahhh...so it's colorful"

and she says "yeah, you can chop it up and make jewelry out of it"

i slowly inched away...

3 comments:

jennifer said...

do you make these stories up? ;)

your job sounds awesome!

j chavez said...

REALITY WILL ALWAYS BE MORE INSANE THAN ANY STORY THE HUMAN MIND COULD EVER CONCEIVE

samit said...

What?!? I would've totally inched towards her.