Mr. Jones...

I know you're a CEO and famous rapper and a hustler and a Harlem American Gangster and all of that but...WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN!!!!?

(Does it mean that the sight in your right eye is just peachy?)

Pass me a bottle Mr. Jones...

I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE FRENZY THAT OCCURS EVERY YEAR WHEN...

...3 BILLION XMAS CD'S HIT THE STORES ALL VYING FOR OUR HOLIDAY DOLLAR.

WHOA!!!!

I've been in the record business for 14 years now and it seems that no artist is above the xmas temptation. Even the most hethanistic rock stars catch the xmas bug, no one is immune. Below is a small cross section of album covers meant to show the ridiculousness of this phenominon (1 or 2 may be fake, but probably only 1):
























Now, I'm not an unfeeling heathen, I have a very specific soft spot. When I was a kid the radio stations in Fresno would switch to 24/7 xams mayhem around late November. Every year, me and my mom would wait for one very special song to hit the airwaves and we would always sing along. here you go, Merry Xmas:

THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER RECORDED!!!

dinner at the boys and girls club.

flowers

my sister hailing the goat while somebody from american idol sings to rich people

awesome haircut on waiter

jennifer not being excited about the cameraphone action

open bar sweetness

melty-est face man i've ever seen

table 37

american idol lady

i thought this guy was wearing a mask

i wish i had gotten shots of the fireworks...

...or of condileeza rice's stepmom...